Humanity's Strongest Couple (Levi x Reader)

"What'll it be, Corporal?"
"Just some scotch. I don't want to get home and do something stupid."

"Scared of the wife, huh?" the barkeep chuckled. "You're a good man, Corporal."
"Tsk, good man my ass. I'm a married man. She panics over everything." Levi took a swig of the now-poured scotch. "That overdramatic woman.."
"Aw, don't be like that, Corporal. There's got to be a reason you married her, right?" He comforted.
"Yeah.." Levi groaned.

"She's so goddamn cute.."



"Pssh, the Lance Corporal went soft on us." a Military Police captain sneered from a table.

"He meets one girl and she turns him into a wimp."

"No. That's where you're wrong." Levi said as he made his way to the captain and his subordinate.

"What? You let her crawl all over you and let her make you do things for her."

"So?"

The captain sensed a challenge and stood up. "You're not a soldier anymore. You're whipped."

Levi kicked the other soldier in the shins. He groaned in pain.

"I am not whipped. There's nothing wrong with finding a girl you actually want to spend time with."



"Levi!!!! Levi!!" ______ screamed.

"What? What the hell is so scary?" Levi walked into the bathroom where all the screaming was coming from.

"Kill it kill it kill it kill it! Get rid of it, burn it, get it out of my house!"

"All this commotion for a measly spider? Damn it, woman, get a grip!"

"Shut up! They are scary little fuckers !"

Levi exhaled and stepped on it swiftly. "There, problem solved. Will you stop screaming already?"

"Yup! Thank you, baby!" ______ kissed Levi's cheek.

---

"It's nice having someone around who doesn't need you for the sole purpose of killing titans. And who doesn't bitch like you shits."



"Leviiiiii..!"

"Leeeviiii!"

"Damn it, Levi!"

"WHAT?!"

"Get your ass away from that desk and next to mine. NOW."

"I can't, I'm working."

"Oh.. okay.."

Levi groaned. "What the hell did I do now?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just that you don't want to snuggle up with me.."

"______, you know I do dammit, but-"

"If you want to snuggle with me then do it!"

Levi pokerfaced. "That's your strategy, huh. Fine. You win, woman." he agreed reluctantly as he went to his dresser drawer.

"Just get your ass in the bed."
"Tch. Demanding woman.."

"Oh shut up, shorty. You're stressed enough as it is. I just want you to relax, okay?"
"Tch." Levi said as he took his clothes off, folded them, and put them in the drawer. "You're spoiled."

"Who do you think spoils me, darling?"
Levi lifted up the covers and layed down beside ______.

"I should work on that, you spoiled brat." Levi grumbled.

______ rolled over on top of him and nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck. Levi rested his hands on the small of her back. "Relax, honey. You sound constipated." she said, mocking his tendency to make toilet jokes. Levi 'tsk'ed.
She looked up at him. She was wearing nothing more than a pair of shorts and one of Levi's shirts (an action to which Levi was not accustomed to yet).

"How do I look?" she grinned seductively.

Levi gave a low chuckle. "Like an old hag." ______ swatted his chest.

Levi kissed ______'s forehead.

"A beautiful old hag."



"It takes a real man to deal with a woman like the one I have. She could put up a good fight against a titan. Unlike you cowards." He grimaced at them.

---

______ made her unauthorized way into the recon corps headquarters looking for Levi, opening random doors and looking left and right. Everyone knew Levi was married, but hardly anyone knew who the fated woman actually was.



"Levi? Oh Leeeeviii!!" she sang.
Someone bumped into her. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she excused herself.


This person looked important. "I'm sorry ma'am, you aren't supposed to be here." he said.

"I won't be long, I just need to drop something off." she chimed, holding up a paper bag.

"You still can't be here."

"But I'm telling you, I'll just drop this off and I'll be on my way, promise!"


The important-looking fellow was getting irritated. "You are in a private military base where even cadets are not allowed. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Please, I won't take but a few minutes! I just need to find the person I'm dropping this off for and I'll be gone!" she begged.

The man, probably a commander, began escorting ______ away from the base through the main corridor. ______ clung to a doorway with one hand for dear life. "I promise, I'll be right out!"

He grunted. "You.. have.. to.. go..!"
"Noooo!!!"

An audience had built and was watching the spectacle. A little woman has holding hers against such a big man.
A much shorter man entered from the opposite end of the corridor, very annoyed at all the commotion.

"Commander, what the hell is going on?" the short man asked.

"Erwin can't get rid of a girl half his size!" Hanji and Moblit laughed.

"______! What are you doing!" Levi yelled.

"Levi! I was looking for you!"


The crowd seemed confused. "Levi, how do you know this girl?" asked Gunther.



"Help me!" ______ screamed. Erwin still hadn't pried her hand off the doorframe. Levi exhaled dejectedly.



"She's the wife you've all been so curious about."

An awkward and uncomfortable silence settled.


"What?" Levi snapped. "You have a problem with who I chose as my wife? Erwin, let her go. She probably just came to drop off my lunch, I forgot it at home."


______ laughed awkwardly as Erwin finally let her go. "You forgot this at home, honey." she said, handing her husband the paper bag.
"Don't embarrass me at work."
"Don't forget your lunch next time."

Still, no one said a word.

"Anything you all want to say before I force it out of your mouths?" Levi and ______ said together, making the fact that they were married more believable.



"HOW?!"
"WHEN?!"
"WHY?!"
"HOW DO YOU TWO STAND EACH OTHER?!"

______ sighed cutely. "I'll see you at home, darling." she said after kissing his cheek.
Levi covered their faces as he kissed her lips. "Yeah."
"Try not to work so hard, okay?"
"Tsk."

---

"Oh look at the Corporal, thinking he's all high and mighty because he has a girlfriend." the captain's subordinate laughed. "All she's probably good for is wishing he comes home alive after all those pointless expeditions."
Levi, having had enough of his shit, drop-kicked him to the ground.
"I know very well personal feelings aren't supposed to interfere with business matters, but this is an exception I'm willing to make for you."

---

"Tsk, quit doting on me so damn much, woman!"
"It's not my fault I want to make sure you're all set for the expedition! You're the one going outside the walls!"
"I have business to do, hurry up!"


______ lowered her head.

"What is it now?"

"I don't want you to go, okay? There's always this pit that forms in my stomach when you go that tells me you aren't coming back. And I try to not listen to it, but the feeling is too much because we both know it's very possible that you won't return and I hate it, okay?! I hate it!"

Levi tilted her head up by the chin with three fingers and kissed her tenderly.
"Levi.."

"I won't make any promises, but I will tell you that I'll try my damndest to make this mission a success. You got that?" ______ nodded.
"Whatever happens, wait here."

"I love you, Levi."
"No, not yet."

---

Levi grabbed his collar roughly and looked him in the eyes.
"She is not my girlfriend. She is my wife. And don't think I'll tolerate anyone talking shit about her. Not even you pigs."

"I have a girlfriend too, I don't go around bragging about her!"

"You will address my wife as such, you scum."
The captain spat in Levi's face.

"You Miltary Police cowards make me sick. Get out of here." Levi growled.
"Ha! It's not like this is your tavern or anything! Who's gonna make us leave?"


The barkeeper, having been listening the entire time, an attemtive man he was, spoke up.


"It's my tavern. And I'm going to have to ask you to leave."


"What?! Why?! I see you're picking sides with Lance Corporal Shorty, huh!" the MP captain accused.

"I've seen the Corporal's wife. Any man who can brag about her is welcome to drink here."

"So? I've got a girlfriend too, she doesn't give me any bull!"

"Only weak men pick weak women."

"I see, so Levi's got an ugly broad, huh?"


"No, she's quite beautiful. Right, Corporal?"
"Hmph. Not like she's got an angel face or anything, but yeah."


"So what's the deal with her, then?"

"There is no deal, only-"



"Corporal!" the bell attached to the door chimed and revealed a frightened Moblit. "Corporal, I've got a very urgent message for you!"



"What does the shit-faced glasses want now?!" Levi snapped.

"The message isn't from Hanji, sir. Y-your wife demanded I tell you."

The Miltary Policemen burst out laughing.

"She asked me to tell you-"

"LEVI!"



______ pushed her way into the tavern, nearly knocking Moblit over. ______'s (h/c) haired, slipper-clad yet wearing a short dress, (s/c) skinned, big busted commanding presence filled the room. The policemen immediately shut up at the sight of her.

And the barkeep was right, yet underestimated her. She was incredibly beautiful and just by standing next to her could you feel jealous and resentful that you hadn't caught her for yourself.

"Sorry Moblit, but LEVI I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET HOME BY NOW!"
"You literally just sent a messenger to tell me that and you interrupted him before he finished relaying the message, woman!"

"He was being slow! I want to come home with you right now!"

"Give me a minute!"

"Okay." she said cutely and sat down at a table.



"Ah, Louis, nice to see you again!" ______ greeted the barkeep.

"Nice to see you too, ______."

"It's a shame we always meet this way, isn't it? Too bad Levi doesn't approve of me coming here alone."

"So that some loser can hit on you and I get my hands dirty from kicking his ass? I don't think so."



"Speaking of dirty hands, I went out and bought all the cleaning things you wanted, dear."

"Thank you."

"Anything for my Levi."

"By the way, what's with that dress? Are you trying to get me into a brawl?"
______ giggled. "Maybe."

Levi 'tsk'ed. "Damn you, ______."



Louis had enough of this conversation for the night and shooed everyone out of his tavern. It was very late, anyway.



That night, somethng unheard of until then occured; a Military Police officer apologized to a member of the Recon Corps.



"Let me ask you something, how do you deal with her?"

"No idea. She tests my limits all the time."

______ gasped dramatically. "You're only dealing with me? I thought you loved me, honey bunch!" she exclaimed sarcastically.

Levi tiredly exhaled. "I do love you, but you're a handful."

"You proposed to and married me, I'm your handful now."

Levi hung his head and ______ laughed.


"Ew.." the captain and his subordinate gagged.